May 8, 2025

Sexuality: A Christ-Centered Foundation for Marriage

A healthy and fulfilling marital relationship is built on trust, love, and intimacy. It should always be Christ-centered. This centering on Christ implies understanding and respecting each other’s emotional and physical needs to create a strong bond between the husband and wife.

Trust and Respect

Abstinence before marriage is a practice that fosters trust and respect. By abstaining from sexual activity until both individuals have committed to one another in marriage, couples establish a firm foundation to build their deepest and most intimate relationship. The shared decision to wait cultivates a sense of patience and self-control, reinforcing the emotional connection beyond mere physical desire.

The policy outline emphasizes the Biblical principle that the bodies of husband and wife belong to each other for their mutual use and pleasure. However, this comes with the responsibility of respecting each other’s emotional condition, sensibilities, and boundaries. This policy reinforces the idea that intimacy should be an act of love and connection aimed at enhancing the emotional stability of the marriage.

A popular psychiatrist speaking on the matter says if you are too embarrassed to talk about specific sexual acts to one another, you should keep them out of the bedroom. In other words, any act of sexual stimulation between husband and wife is permissible as long as both parties are willing and comfortable without finding it offensive or repulsive. This encourages open communication about desires and boundaries, creating a safe space for couples to explore and deepen their intimacy.

Intimacy in Marriage

Men and women have different sexual responses to certain stimuli. It is the husband’s responsibility to ensure both parties experience equal pleasure and satisfaction during intimacy. This understanding promotes open communication and a willingness to adapt, ensuring that both partners feel valued and fulfilled in their sexual relationship. Sex is a team sport.

While mutual satisfaction is the goal, it is also recognized that there may be occasions when one partner is not “in the mood.” In such cases, it is encouraged for the responsive partner to be understanding and considerate unless physically exhausted or ill. This approach emphasizes the importance of mutual respect and consideration for each other’s well-being, even in moments of intimacy.

One crucial aspect of the policy is the clear statement that sexual denial should never be used as a form of punishment or retaliation for any event that has transpired between partners. This reinforces the idea that intimacy is a shared experience based on love and trust, and should never be weaponized to settle disputes or grievances.

Guarding Against Dangers

It’s important to acknowledge the detrimental effects of pornography on relationships. Excessive consumption of explicit material can lead to unrealistic expectations, diminished intimacy, and a distorted view of sexuality. This can erode trust and emotional connection within a marriage, making it crucial for couples to engage in open conversations about boundaries surrounding pornography. Furthermore, the entire pornographic world is corrupted by the sex trafficking of adults and minors, and Christians should not allow that into their lives. Pornography can fall into the wrong hands.

As parents, we need to address the importance of children refraining from engaging in sexual intercourse prior to marriage. This guidance aims to instill values of patience, respect, and commitment, setting the stage for healthy and fulfilling future relationships. As the Song of Solomon warns, “not to awaken love until the time is right.” (8:4)

Fasting and Spiritual Renewal

One aspect you may not have thought of is fasting from sex. The Bible encourages us to fast. While we mostly center that around food, we can and should fast from anything we feel is interfering with our spiritual life. Some couples choose to incorporate periods of fasting from sex. This practice can be a powerful way to deepen partners’ spiritual and emotional connection. By temporarily redirecting their focus away from physical intimacy, couples can explore new ways of bonding and communicating, ultimately strengthening their relationship.

Conclusion: Building a Christ-Centered Intimacy

Fostering a strong Christ-centered, intimate marriage requires a commitment to mutual respect, open communication, and a willingness to prioritize each other’s emotional well-being. This policy outline only addresses a few things but provides a comprehensive framework as a starting point for couples to navigate their intimate relationships with love, understanding, and respect.

Author: Jon-Roy Sloan is the Chief Communications Officer for NationsUniversity and the author of Anastasia Smiles: Love Needs No Translation. Disclaimer statement: Please note that the opinions expressed herein are those of the author alone and are based on his personal understanding of scripture and how God works in our lives and do not necessarily reflect the views of NationsUniversity®.

Article 18, Family Policy Series – 209 Sexuality